Friday, May 27, 2011

Doctor Knows Best?

When I lived in Denver I had an amazing pediatrician. I loved him. The first time I saw him after Ava was born he had weighed her to see if she'd gained weight from birth and he said to me "Well, we know momma's factory is working good!" I knew right then that I loved him.

Eight months later when we moved west I had to start all over again. At first I thought the group of doctors I had found were okay. But the more often I went and the more invasive they became the less and less I liked them. They started asking so many questions that I felt like were none of their business and I found myself feeling like I needed to lie to them (like I was afraid they'd call child services on me if I answered wrong). Okay, not that bad, I knew they wouldn't call child services but I didn't like it.  My dislike of them was confirmed when my sister-in-law told me of her experience with one of the doctors dropping the pants on her 5 year old son without so much as a "hey, is it okay if we do this now?" or anything. Just yanked 'em down. Poor kid.

So here's my dilemma. Do you lie to your doctor too? Is it just me? Does anyone think there is a legitimate reason they ask the questions they do and that I should be totally honest about the fact that no, I don't put sunscreen on my child every time we walk out the door. (Sorry but the only time my kids wear sunscreen is if we will be outside for an extended period of time.) By the way, last time I was there I did give them a totally honest answer about the sunscreen and they were not happy with me. This is why I lie, to avoid the unnecessary discussion about why it's important, blah blah blah. 

I'm tempted to just say "sorry, but I don't think that's any of your business" and see what happens. Would you?


Amy said...

I haven't found a pediatrician that I like since Pittsburgh. It's so hard to find a good doctor!!!! I can't say I've ever lied to the doctor but Freddy is still young and I haven't been asked tons of probing questions either. So who knows - maybe I will someday.

I've seen quite a few different docs hoping to find a good one for Freddy and they all have SUCH DIFFERENT OPINIONS! Some are super laid back and like to give more natural homeopathic solutions first, others will lecture you and have you in the ER (and tears) before you can even get your whole story out. They all have different opinions based on their own personal educations and experiences.

So yeah, just know that one doctors opinion is not 100% fact - it's just an educated opinion. YOU are the mother and YOU know your kids.

p.s. I rarely remember to put sunblock on Freddy unless we are going to the pool...he's only ever had one very light sunburn on his forehead and it was gone just 12 hours later.

Ria said...

Shopping for doctors is like shopping for shoes. You keep trying them on until you find a good fit. Look for a doctor that fits you better. Amy is right about them all having varied opinions on things.
I don't recall lying to a doctor. Sometimes I'd just say, "I understand that is true and I need to improve in that area" or something. Other things I'd stand strong in my own opinions. I've differed in breastfeeding beliefs than some of my doctors and I just ignore them and do what I think is right. And yes if they tell me to start solids and I don't think it is time, I tell them straight out that I won't do it. That was an issue with Brooke. She gained plenty with just breast milk. when the doctor argued with me I just asked him if he thought she was suffering from malnutrition. Nope. Gaining weight and healthy. So I need to start solids because why? Had the same argument every visit until I thought she was ready for solids which was very late compared to "normal". (started Jord much earlier because he was ready then). I didn't have the option of changing doctors because we were on student insurance and had to use their doctors.
Anyway, my advice is look for a new doctor.

Sally said...

I know its hard living in a small town where there aren't many options but I agree with everyone else. Get a new Doctor! When we were living in Oklahoma the kid's Dr. was assigned to us because of medicaid I would hope everytime I had to take one of them in that I would end up seeing the P.A. instead. The Dr. never bothered to look at the chart before he came in the room so everytime I took James in I would have to explain all over again why he had a scar on his stomach. I also had to take Macy in for an ear infection one time and right after I got done telling the nurse that she was allergic to amoxycillan he walked in and said he was going to put her on it. It wasn't until after I told him she was allergic that he looked at the chart and saw that it was written down.

And I don't know anyone that puts sunscreen on their kids everytime they walk out the door. If my Dr. gave me a hard time about it though I would probably just lie and say yes.

travelingmom said...

I've lied to the Dr. so I don't have to hear the long drawn out reason why I shouldn't or should be doing something. Or I just smile and nod for the same reason. But other times I've asked other Dr.'s questions about concerns and they are waling out the door while I'm asking them. So frustrating!!

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