Why do we do this to ourselves?

I'm 13 weeks pregnant. The point where most mom-to-be's say "I'm so glad I'm finally feeling better" and I'm saying "Oh please don't let this misery last as long as last time!"  You see, I get super duper when-will-this-end sick when I'm pregnant. According to my dad I have him to blame for my weak stomach. But that's beside the point. The point is it's no fun, and that's why I've been MIA for the last couple of months.

Right now my house is a permanent disaster. It's hard enough some days to get me and the girls dressed let alone fed and taken care of so the house is sort of last on my list. I hate it. I want it to be clean so badly but I just can't keep up. I shower more like every other day because I'm too tired and weak to stand up that long at a time. The clean laundry can easily sit in the basket waiting to be put away for days and days. The bathroom? Don't even ask.

So you can see why from time to time (usually while bent over the toilet) the words come into my head "why did I do this to myself? Willingly!" It's hard sometimes to remember the end result. But there is an end result. There is a beautiful, hopefully healthy, sweet, innocent baby waiting for me at the end of my self imposed 9 months of misery. And it is SO worth it. There is nothing more miraculous than bringing a baby into the world. I wouldn't trade my chance at motherhood for being able to pee standing up in a million years! Being a woman is a truly special gift.

I can't promise I'll be back on a regular basis yet but I'm trying. My good days are starting to come around a little more often and I'm looking forward to getting back on the blogging train. Thanks for hanging in there with us while we both are working on the new additions in our families!

The reason I will celebrate this year

I've been debating all weekend what I should post today. I wanted to post something about Christmas, since it's just weeks away. (Does it scare you to read that, because it does me) What I really wanted to post was something meaningful, something that would help us all to reflect on the real reason we have to celebrate, but without sounding too preachy or repetitive. Sometimes though I just can't separate all the thoughts swirling through my brain into anything that makes sense. Then I went to church on Sunday and it all made sense. Really, it started on Saturday night when I sat down with our 8 year old daughter to talk to her about something very important.

In Oklahoma where we used to live, there is a great family struggling through a very difficult trial. Their sweet little girl is battling cancer. She was diagnosed just shortly before we moved here, but I have been keeping up with her progress through facebook. On Friday I got an email letting me know that she is back in the ICU battling an infection. The email asked for our prayers and fasting on her behalf this coming Sunday. On Saturday night I asked our daughter if she would join me in fasting for Gracie. She agreed without hesitation and said the most precious, sincere prayer on her behalf before bed.

On Sunday morning, a man stood up in church and talked about how he and his family had made a goal for this coming year to be more involved at church and to make friends. They had been in the ward for several years, but still didn't feel like they knew anybody. He wasn't accusing of anyone for not making the effort to befriend him or his family, he simply had a sincere desire to reach out to others.

In our last meeting of the day, we talked about being Christ's hands. As women, we have the gift of touching lives. This truly is a divine gift, given by a loving Father in Heaven who can't physically reach out and touch us in times of trial and suffering, but can send a friend who with a hug can fill us with his love. I was touched by all the stories the women shared about when other sisters had served them with nothing but charity in their hearts.

I came home with a renewed desire to not just reach out to those I come in contact with everyday, but to serve them and love them.

In our busy lives, I know it's sometimes hard to stop and think about people other than the ones living under our same roof, but if there is ever a season to make time, it is now.

There is no better way to honor and celebrate the birth of our Savior, than by following his example.