Friday, April 8, 2011

My Boy

I have two daughters and one son. One boy to love me and drive me to the brink of my sanity.

He wants a brother. Badly!

I want him to have a brother too.

I'm not sure the reason behind that desire is for him to have a boy to play with or just so that the numbers will be equal between the boys and girls. He is always pointing out that there are three girls in the family and only two boys.

Today we went as a family to my ultrasound where the tech looked my boy square in the eyes and said "it's a girl."

The look in his eyes and the redness that swelled around them broke a piece of my heart and I had to hold back a tear of my own.

I'm going to be completely honest. My sadness wasn't all for him. I wanted one more little chubby cheeked blond headed boy to kiss on and squeeze. But more than that, I wanted my son to have every desire of his heart fulfilled. Especially the one that wants a brother so bad.

When we left the office he was already talking how about maybe next time we have a new baby it will be a boy, and I just couldn't break him down even more by telling him that there wasn't going to be a next time.

Instead we've been telling him what a special boy he is and how he has a very important job. Being the brother to three sisters is a big responsibility. We told him how he would be in charge of protecting them and making sure no one ever hurt them. And although he didn't say much other than "I know." I think it made him feel important and special. Which he is. Just like all of my children are. Including the daughter I haven't met yet.

And now that I've had a whole day to talk about her as an actual her instead of "it" I'm starting to feel that familiar excitement.

I get to have another baby girl!

Now we just have to come up with a name. That's the hardest part!


Amanda said...

I've had the opposite experience. I have four boys. I remember when I was expecting my third son, and feeling completely sure it was going to be a girl this time around, going into for the ultrasound with my husband and two little boys. My oldest son, who was about 5 at the time, was just sure he was going to get a little sister. I was so sad to see the disappointment in his face when he realized there was no baby sister, but instead, another brother. By the time the fourth boy came along, he'd totally embraced the "coolness" of having a home full of nothing but brothers.

I've learned kids adapt quickly, and Heavenly Father knows what's best for us. I've wanted a daughter for so long, but each time I meet a new son, I realize there's no way I could have lived without him!

Congrats on your baby girl!

Ria said...

congrats, but does your dad read your blog?

Seth and Julie said...

Congrats! I feel for James, but I always tell Alex that he will ALWAYS be my favorite boy in the world. He will never have to share that honor and that seems to take the sting out of not having a brother...a little bit? Thank goodness you found out now so that he can adjust and prepare for another sister. Any name ideas yet? I love naming girls! And shopping for them!

annie moffat karcher said...

Sally congratulations! I have a sister in law who has 5 girls and 1 boy, she always tells him how special he is and how he is the protector of all of them, next to his dad.

Anonymous said...

What a wonderful mother you are!! James will be the very special Rollins boy. The only one to carry on our name. I also hate to see him disappointed but truthfully, I just love grandkids, any one I can get!

Barbra said...

Oh how I love you Sally. You are a wonderful Mom, daughter, wife, and friend. I'm excited to meet baby girl three and I know James will be the best brother ever to his three sisters. That makes him SO important. It's his job to protect his sisters and I know he will.

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