He wants a brother. Badly!
I want him to have a brother too.
I'm not sure the reason behind that desire is for him to have a boy to play with or just so that the numbers will be equal between the boys and girls. He is always pointing out that there are three girls in the family and only two boys.
Today we went as a family to my ultrasound where the tech looked my boy square in the eyes and said "it's a girl."
The look in his eyes and the redness that swelled around them broke a piece of my heart and I had to hold back a tear of my own.
I'm going to be completely honest. My sadness wasn't all for him. I wanted one more little chubby cheeked blond headed boy to kiss on and squeeze. But more than that, I wanted my son to have every desire of his heart fulfilled. Especially the one that wants a brother so bad.
When we left the office he was already talking how about maybe next time we have a new baby it will be a boy, and I just couldn't break him down even more by telling him that there wasn't going to be a next time.
Instead we've been telling him what a special boy he is and how he has a very important job. Being the brother to three sisters is a big responsibility. We told him how he would be in charge of protecting them and making sure no one ever hurt them. And although he didn't say much other than "I know." I think it made him feel important and special. Which he is. Just like all of my children are. Including the daughter I haven't met yet.
And now that I've had a whole day to talk about her as an actual her instead of "it" I'm starting to feel that familiar excitement.
I get to have another baby girl!
Now we just have to come up with a name. That's the hardest part!